You know how there's always that one thing that will get you frustrated, annoyed, and ready to pull your hair out, (or whoever is nearest,) in mere seconds? Well for me it's math. I've never been very good at it. I'm not horrible, I'm just not that great, and every once and awhile I just can't figure it out.
It used to be really bad and I struggled with it for years. My own failure aggravated me and I would take it out on Kath. I can't tell you how many lessons Kathryn and I spent arguing and fighting. But eventually we both grew up a little and the last two years or so have been much better.
Most of the time it's not that bad and Kath and I get along and complete a lesson in relative peace. However when it's four in the afternoon and you've already spent an hour on just the concept because it's complicated calculator stuff and the computer keeps freezing up and you still have a full set of thirty problems to go...well let's just I say I was less than cordial. Two and a half hours of that is enough to make Hell's Kitchen look fun.
But despite my trigonometrical woes, the day has been a good one. An old friend of Dad's and his family came over for brunch. They had a two year old little girl and a nine month old boy. They were adorable! And very well behaved. Mom made Swedish pancakes and scrambled eggs with onions, sausage, bell peppers, and all sorts of goodies. Poor Kath missed out because she was at work, (that was why our math session was so late in the day.)
And now we are all going to the rink for some skating and fellowship with a bunch of youth peoples. I'm so excited! I LOVE skating and the opportunity doesn't come along very often. Mom is tired, but I think she'll have a good time once we get there. =D
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Writing...
I wrote in my book today for the first time in months. Yes, it's been that long, *hangs head in shame.* And like an old friend that I've neglected for too long, it wasn't very happy with me and punished my by not cooperating. The words refused to come smoothly and each made their way onto the page, (computer screen, really,) with difficulty. I suppose I deserved it. Even so, I was able to write a full page. It doesn't sound like much, I know, but I was still proud of myself at the end of it.
Life has been decidedly better the last two weeks. Especially since Dad started working at Red Elephant. Dominos was just not working out. The atmosphere was bad, the pay was horrible, and Dad absolutely hated it. So when he was approached about a position at Red Elephant, he jumped at the chance! The people are nice, the 80s music is great, and the pay is actually worth the work. What a novel idea!
The chances for keeping our house are hopeful at this point. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my day to day life. Just knowing that it's possible is so encouraging. Sigh.
So instead of being a downward spiral, life seems to be looking up. Thank you, God!
Life has been decidedly better the last two weeks. Especially since Dad started working at Red Elephant. Dominos was just not working out. The atmosphere was bad, the pay was horrible, and Dad absolutely hated it. So when he was approached about a position at Red Elephant, he jumped at the chance! The people are nice, the 80s music is great, and the pay is actually worth the work. What a novel idea!
The chances for keeping our house are hopeful at this point. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my day to day life. Just knowing that it's possible is so encouraging. Sigh.
So instead of being a downward spiral, life seems to be looking up. Thank you, God!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Silence
I can't tell you how much I enjoy having the house to myself! It's so pleasantly quiet and peaceful. It's also very very rare. I hardly ever get left home alone, so it's quite a treat. Today Dad and Kath are at work, the Littles are with Gran and Grandpa, and Mom is out to lunch. Voila! I get the house to myself!
The only sounds are the clacking of my fingers on the keyboard and the music from my playlist. Ahhhhh. Sweet contentment.
The only sounds are the clacking of my fingers on the keyboard and the music from my playlist. Ahhhhh. Sweet contentment.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Bad Books Are Therapeutic
At least that's what my friend, Caroline, told me. And frankly, I'm inclined to agree with her. Every time I read a badly written book I think, "hey, I could totally be published if this thing made it!" It's encouraging in a strange way.
Then there are days when I try to write, and it all comes out in a disjointed, tangled mess of words. I read over what I've just written, heave a disparaging sigh, and wonder if I'll ever make it. Then I happen upon some ridiculous little novel and it's positively amazing what it does for my self confidence! Haha
The book I'm reading now, however, falls into a puzzling category. I can't quite decide if I like it or not. The storyline is really fascinating, parallel universes, dragons, and knights in shining armor can hardly be anything else, but the execution is a little lacking. Like perhaps it was written for a younger audience? Maybe I'm too picky. Oh well. =)
Then there are days when I try to write, and it all comes out in a disjointed, tangled mess of words. I read over what I've just written, heave a disparaging sigh, and wonder if I'll ever make it. Then I happen upon some ridiculous little novel and it's positively amazing what it does for my self confidence! Haha
The book I'm reading now, however, falls into a puzzling category. I can't quite decide if I like it or not. The storyline is really fascinating, parallel universes, dragons, and knights in shining armor can hardly be anything else, but the execution is a little lacking. Like perhaps it was written for a younger audience? Maybe I'm too picky. Oh well. =)
Monday, March 16, 2009
May I Have This Dance?
Melanie and Jeff got married on Saturday! The ceremony was gorgeous and Mel was absolutely breathtaking. We bridesmaids had our hair done up in a forties style with matching red lipstick and these totally awesome heels that matched the guys' shoes. It was so much fun. Since the wedding was outside, the heels had a tendency to sink into the ground. There are four piles of upturned earth where we were standing for the ceremony. Haha!
Every wedding I've been to for the past five years has got me thinking about mine. I think most girls do that. So I sigh at the "you may now kiss the bride," and wistfully watch their first dance as a man and wife. And this time I actually cried at the daddy-daughter dance. They played Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman and I started thinking about leaving Dad, and how hard it will be. It didn't help matters that Daddy wasn't there due to the fact that he had to work, (which completely sucked.) I tell you what, my man is going to have to be one heck of a guy in order for me to leave Dad.
After the ceremony, pictures, and food, (which was incredible!) began my favorite part of any wedding. The dancing! One of the first songs was the twist, and to my amazement, Gran was out there doing it too! I couldn't believe it! She had the biggest grin on her face. It was totally awesome.
After a few fast songs, they played a slower one, (I'm pretty sure it was At Last, by Etta James,) and I left the dance floor because standing there all alone while couples slowly fill up the empty space is just not cool. Haha. I saw Steven and walked over to him to chat. He smiled and kind of raised his eyebrows and held out his hand. I don't think my grin could have gotten any bigger as we returned to the dance floor. At seventeen, I had finally been asked to dance, and I couldn't have been more pleased. I just love Steven. He's such a sweetheart. =D
The dancing went on and I had the time of my life. We all gathered in a cramped circle and did the salsa to Sway sung by Michael Buble. It was so much fun! I was glad I had brought a more comfortable pair of heels to wear after the ceremony because the salsa just doesn't look quite as good in bare feet. ;)
So we danced and danced and partied and celebrated and just enjoyed the experience. We did some improv line dancing and goofy little things like that along with all the usual upbeat antics. Mom told me that Mrs. Jodie asked where I had been dancing on Friday nights! Haha! Mom just said that I had been dancing since I was two. I don't get to let loose in a group setting like that as much as I would like, but I'm really enjoying Wednesday's dance and drama class.
Being a bridesmaid in Mel's wedding was such an awesome experience. When Kath and I found out about it we jumped up and down and squealed. Haha! We were talking about being in the wedding, and anyone in a bridal party is a part of the "in crowd," so to speak. So if you are in Melanie's "in crowd," you must be really really cool. Haha! Aren't we silly? The neat thing is that the only other wedding we've been in was Aunt Carolyn's as flower girls.
Anyway, it was all beautiful and amazing.
On Sunday I was completely exhausted, partly because I had only gotten five hours of sleep on Friday night before getting up early Saturday morning to prepare for the wedding. So I lazed around watching movies, eating junk food and gingerly using my sore feet. =D It was a great weekend.
Every wedding I've been to for the past five years has got me thinking about mine. I think most girls do that. So I sigh at the "you may now kiss the bride," and wistfully watch their first dance as a man and wife. And this time I actually cried at the daddy-daughter dance. They played Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman and I started thinking about leaving Dad, and how hard it will be. It didn't help matters that Daddy wasn't there due to the fact that he had to work, (which completely sucked.) I tell you what, my man is going to have to be one heck of a guy in order for me to leave Dad.
After the ceremony, pictures, and food, (which was incredible!) began my favorite part of any wedding. The dancing! One of the first songs was the twist, and to my amazement, Gran was out there doing it too! I couldn't believe it! She had the biggest grin on her face. It was totally awesome.
After a few fast songs, they played a slower one, (I'm pretty sure it was At Last, by Etta James,) and I left the dance floor because standing there all alone while couples slowly fill up the empty space is just not cool. Haha. I saw Steven and walked over to him to chat. He smiled and kind of raised his eyebrows and held out his hand. I don't think my grin could have gotten any bigger as we returned to the dance floor. At seventeen, I had finally been asked to dance, and I couldn't have been more pleased. I just love Steven. He's such a sweetheart. =D
The dancing went on and I had the time of my life. We all gathered in a cramped circle and did the salsa to Sway sung by Michael Buble. It was so much fun! I was glad I had brought a more comfortable pair of heels to wear after the ceremony because the salsa just doesn't look quite as good in bare feet. ;)
So we danced and danced and partied and celebrated and just enjoyed the experience. We did some improv line dancing and goofy little things like that along with all the usual upbeat antics. Mom told me that Mrs. Jodie asked where I had been dancing on Friday nights! Haha! Mom just said that I had been dancing since I was two. I don't get to let loose in a group setting like that as much as I would like, but I'm really enjoying Wednesday's dance and drama class.
Being a bridesmaid in Mel's wedding was such an awesome experience. When Kath and I found out about it we jumped up and down and squealed. Haha! We were talking about being in the wedding, and anyone in a bridal party is a part of the "in crowd," so to speak. So if you are in Melanie's "in crowd," you must be really really cool. Haha! Aren't we silly? The neat thing is that the only other wedding we've been in was Aunt Carolyn's as flower girls.
Anyway, it was all beautiful and amazing.
On Sunday I was completely exhausted, partly because I had only gotten five hours of sleep on Friday night before getting up early Saturday morning to prepare for the wedding. So I lazed around watching movies, eating junk food and gingerly using my sore feet. =D It was a great weekend.
Friday, March 13, 2009
In All Fairness...
There are still things to be thankful for despite our dire predicament. We are all healthy, we all have good relationships with each other...okay well most of us have good relationships with each other. It's not like we are all dying or anything. It's just really hard trying to face losing our beloved home.
But amazing friends and family provide ample consolation and encouragement, and I am so thankful for them. God is a constant comforter and I know that at the end of this all, things will be okay.
I'm just not looking forward to the tunnel before the light. And it feels like we've been in this nebulous cloud of financial uncertainty and lack for such a long time that it seems unfair for it to get worse instead of better.
And I know we aren't the only ones facing this type of situation. It's spread across most of the nation. But in my current myopic frame of mind, it is easier to focus on my own problems and issues. I have to stop and remember that we aren't the only ones. And in a sad way, it's comforting to know that we aren't alone.
But amazing friends and family provide ample consolation and encouragement, and I am so thankful for them. God is a constant comforter and I know that at the end of this all, things will be okay.
I'm just not looking forward to the tunnel before the light. And it feels like we've been in this nebulous cloud of financial uncertainty and lack for such a long time that it seems unfair for it to get worse instead of better.
And I know we aren't the only ones facing this type of situation. It's spread across most of the nation. But in my current myopic frame of mind, it is easier to focus on my own problems and issues. I have to stop and remember that we aren't the only ones. And in a sad way, it's comforting to know that we aren't alone.
Life As We Know It...
Is over.
We are going to lose our house. And there isn't a *!@#% thing I can do about it. What do you do when your parents tell you that your only option is to start over somewhere else? To give up everything and leave home? Where do you go with that emotionally?
You find an uncluttered corner in your mind, crawl over to it, plop down, and cover your head with the darkest, thickest blanket you can find. You become numb and cold, and just hope that when it's all over you can wake up again.
That's kind of how I feel. You know I haven't cried a single tear over it? How is that possible? I have no idea. I'm the only one in my family who hasn't cried about it all. And I'm a passionate person. It's like it's all buried too deep inside of me and I can't really get it out. I might not be able to handle it if I could.
I'm like Elanor in Sense and Sensibility, sitting on the stairway drinking my cup of tea while the world tumbles down around my ears. I see it happening. I hear it coming. But I can't do anything about it. So I sit and wait, seemingly calm, but struggling to escape despair's grasping claws.
I want to cry and scream and throw things against the wall. I want to do something outrageously emotional. Anything to release the internal pressure. But I'm too tired and weary. And what would be the point anyway? Better just to sit quietly with my cup of tea.
I wish I could escape.
I don't want to think. I can't think. Thinking isn't helping right now.
Grannie took us to the library yesterday and I got a ton of books. At least I can hide in the engaging story lines for awhile. Pretend what's going on around me doesn't exist.
We are going to lose our house. And there isn't a *!@#% thing I can do about it. What do you do when your parents tell you that your only option is to start over somewhere else? To give up everything and leave home? Where do you go with that emotionally?
You find an uncluttered corner in your mind, crawl over to it, plop down, and cover your head with the darkest, thickest blanket you can find. You become numb and cold, and just hope that when it's all over you can wake up again.
That's kind of how I feel. You know I haven't cried a single tear over it? How is that possible? I have no idea. I'm the only one in my family who hasn't cried about it all. And I'm a passionate person. It's like it's all buried too deep inside of me and I can't really get it out. I might not be able to handle it if I could.
I'm like Elanor in Sense and Sensibility, sitting on the stairway drinking my cup of tea while the world tumbles down around my ears. I see it happening. I hear it coming. But I can't do anything about it. So I sit and wait, seemingly calm, but struggling to escape despair's grasping claws.
I want to cry and scream and throw things against the wall. I want to do something outrageously emotional. Anything to release the internal pressure. But I'm too tired and weary. And what would be the point anyway? Better just to sit quietly with my cup of tea.
I wish I could escape.
I don't want to think. I can't think. Thinking isn't helping right now.
Grannie took us to the library yesterday and I got a ton of books. At least I can hide in the engaging story lines for awhile. Pretend what's going on around me doesn't exist.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
He Really Does Love Me
Well there's a lot of really tough stuff going on right now, the biggest thing being the possibility of losing just about everything, mainly our house. So needless to say, the depths of despair have been calling. Finding that balance between facing reality and holding on to hope is difficult at best. Especially when I just want to curl up in the corner and shut out the world.
Trust is a difficult thing. God is all powerful, and able to rescue us from this situation at any moment time, there's no doubt about it. But is that what He has for us? Learning to accept the fact that that might not be His will and that we might lose our house, but trusting that He knows best anyway, definitely stretches the faith.
But today God reminded me that He loves me in the form of two of my friends, Megan and Rachel. They came over for the afternoon and completely lifted my spirits. We laughed, and talked, and when Meg had to leave briefly, I poured out my woes to Rachel. She listened and assured me that she and her family are praying for us.
Then when Meg came back we watched the alternate ending to the Disney Channel movie Get A Clue. It's actually one of the better Disney Channel movies and is very entertaining. Anyway, in the original version the bad guy is a fake detective and in the alternate ending the bad guy is a female principle. In both versions the villain is stopped by getting smashed by a giant layered cake. Well they hadn't completely finished the alternate ending so when the principle is laying on the floor smothered in cake, it's not her voice grumbling and groaning through mouthfuls of icing. It's the guy's voice. It sounds so funny! We laughed hysterically and I even rewound it.
It is such a blessing to have friends. I honestly don't know what I would do without friends like Meg, Rachel, Caro, Abbie, my sister Kathryn, and my Mom. Thanks God! =D
Trust is a difficult thing. God is all powerful, and able to rescue us from this situation at any moment time, there's no doubt about it. But is that what He has for us? Learning to accept the fact that that might not be His will and that we might lose our house, but trusting that He knows best anyway, definitely stretches the faith.
But today God reminded me that He loves me in the form of two of my friends, Megan and Rachel. They came over for the afternoon and completely lifted my spirits. We laughed, and talked, and when Meg had to leave briefly, I poured out my woes to Rachel. She listened and assured me that she and her family are praying for us.
Then when Meg came back we watched the alternate ending to the Disney Channel movie Get A Clue. It's actually one of the better Disney Channel movies and is very entertaining. Anyway, in the original version the bad guy is a fake detective and in the alternate ending the bad guy is a female principle. In both versions the villain is stopped by getting smashed by a giant layered cake. Well they hadn't completely finished the alternate ending so when the principle is laying on the floor smothered in cake, it's not her voice grumbling and groaning through mouthfuls of icing. It's the guy's voice. It sounds so funny! We laughed hysterically and I even rewound it.
It is such a blessing to have friends. I honestly don't know what I would do without friends like Meg, Rachel, Caro, Abbie, my sister Kathryn, and my Mom. Thanks God! =D
Friday, March 6, 2009
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Well the room wasn't exactly burning, but it was really hot. Haha!
Tonight we went to the Jones house as a fam and we had a blast. We hadn't seen them in a few months since they moved, (they used to be our next door neighbors.) Last spring in anticipation of an upcoming wedding, we decided to combine our limited knowledge of ballroom dancing and increase our reptoire together. We got pretty good but were disappointed when it rained on the outdoor wedding, making dancing impossible in the muddy ground.
But Anna's older sister is getting married this year and they assured us that there will be plenty of dancing at the wedding! So we brushed up on our "skills" this evening with Zach, Adam, and Anna. It was a blast! I totally fell apart when I tried to teach Zach the salsa. Latin dance has never looked so ridiculous. And he was totally doing it on purpose. How he exaggerated each move so amusingly and kept such a snobbish expression on his face, I'll never know. I couldn't do a full five steps without dissolving into laughter. It was so much fun.
Since the room was so small it got really hot really fast, (hence the title ;) So Adam brought in an extra fan and that made it better. =D
We also played charades and goofed around like kids usually do, making lots of noise in the process. I miss the days when we would go over and just hang out or swim. But nothing lasts forever, and it's not like they states away. Just twenty minutes or so. It was a lot easier when all we had to do was cross the street though. Haha.
Tonight we went to the Jones house as a fam and we had a blast. We hadn't seen them in a few months since they moved, (they used to be our next door neighbors.) Last spring in anticipation of an upcoming wedding, we decided to combine our limited knowledge of ballroom dancing and increase our reptoire together. We got pretty good but were disappointed when it rained on the outdoor wedding, making dancing impossible in the muddy ground.
But Anna's older sister is getting married this year and they assured us that there will be plenty of dancing at the wedding! So we brushed up on our "skills" this evening with Zach, Adam, and Anna. It was a blast! I totally fell apart when I tried to teach Zach the salsa. Latin dance has never looked so ridiculous. And he was totally doing it on purpose. How he exaggerated each move so amusingly and kept such a snobbish expression on his face, I'll never know. I couldn't do a full five steps without dissolving into laughter. It was so much fun.
Since the room was so small it got really hot really fast, (hence the title ;) So Adam brought in an extra fan and that made it better. =D
We also played charades and goofed around like kids usually do, making lots of noise in the process. I miss the days when we would go over and just hang out or swim. But nothing lasts forever, and it's not like they states away. Just twenty minutes or so. It was a lot easier when all we had to do was cross the street though. Haha.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Bowling Pins Meets Twitter
I just love it when Abbie gets bored. She always does the coolest stuff when she's bored! Haha!
I was checking my email when I saw that I had a Twitter follower request from Jayne Holloway, one of our Bowling Pins characters! I was so surprised and amused that I laughed out loud! Then Abbie and I promptly began making Twitters for the other characters, all ten of them! We spent the entire evening doing it and having a great time.
The characters have been talking back and forth through Twitter and I just get such a kick out of it. Sam really likes one of the characters, Trevor Huntington, so I made him follow her as well. She is so cute. She even voted for him on the the poll we have on our blog.
That much to say, I am LOVING collaborative writing. I've never done it before Bowling Pins and I think for a first effort it is coming along splendidly! It's a little far fetched, but hey, so is the idea of a century old vampire falling in love with a highschooler. So really, ours isn't all that unrealistic in comparison. =P
I was checking my email when I saw that I had a Twitter follower request from Jayne Holloway, one of our Bowling Pins characters! I was so surprised and amused that I laughed out loud! Then Abbie and I promptly began making Twitters for the other characters, all ten of them! We spent the entire evening doing it and having a great time.
The characters have been talking back and forth through Twitter and I just get such a kick out of it. Sam really likes one of the characters, Trevor Huntington, so I made him follow her as well. She is so cute. She even voted for him on the the poll we have on our blog.
That much to say, I am LOVING collaborative writing. I've never done it before Bowling Pins and I think for a first effort it is coming along splendidly! It's a little far fetched, but hey, so is the idea of a century old vampire falling in love with a highschooler. So really, ours isn't all that unrealistic in comparison. =P
Wonderful Megan
Today is Megan's birthday! So yesterday Kath and I went out to lunch with Meg, Rachel and Caroline. We ate at Barberitos, our traditional meeting place, and then, also according to tradition, went to Publix and split giant sugar cookies with sprinkles. I think one of my favorite things about the cookies is that when you hold them your fingers get stained with rainbow polka dots. It's so cute!
We also stopped at a little clothing store that's right by Publix. There was the most adorable skirt there! It was tiered and gathered so it flared out at the bottom. The colors were white, bright green, hot pink, lavender, and a patterned tier. Rachel and I both tried it on and LOVED it. But sadly, I'm broke. =( So I couldn't get it. So Rachel said she would buy hers and let me borrow it!
I reluctantly hung up the skirt telling God how much I wished I could get it, but thanking Him for the fact that I was able to spend time with my friends.
Then after a few moments Rachel asked me if I had something to match it at home. I said yes and she said, "You know what? I'm going to get this for you. I think God wants me to do that." It was so cool! I gave her a huge hug and said thank you. Now I'm going to share with her. Isn't she sweet?
After lunch, the clothing store, and Publix, there really wasn't much we could do around town. So we rode around a bit, stopped at Office Depot of all places, mostly just for the heck of it and the possibility of cute notebooks, (I'm addicted to them, you know,) and then drove back home. We were planning on going inside and sitting and talking some more, but for some strange reason we just sat in the car and talked. And it was a really good conversation too. See, we talk so much, that it doesn't really matter where we are, just so long as our mouths are working. =D
Kath and I were trying to decide what to give Meg when we both went to look through our scarf drawers. (Yes, we actually have drawers for our scarves. =) Kath found a cute flowered green one that you can wear in your hair and I found a crocheted sparkly brown scarf with beads on the end. We also gave her a Starbucks gift card. It was so funny because she said when she opened the gift that she had been wanting a new scarf, and one for her hair! It was great. She's definitely a scarf lover. =D
We had a great time being together and it made for a wonderful afternoon! I'm so thankful for such amazing friends!
We also stopped at a little clothing store that's right by Publix. There was the most adorable skirt there! It was tiered and gathered so it flared out at the bottom. The colors were white, bright green, hot pink, lavender, and a patterned tier. Rachel and I both tried it on and LOVED it. But sadly, I'm broke. =( So I couldn't get it. So Rachel said she would buy hers and let me borrow it!
I reluctantly hung up the skirt telling God how much I wished I could get it, but thanking Him for the fact that I was able to spend time with my friends.
Then after a few moments Rachel asked me if I had something to match it at home. I said yes and she said, "You know what? I'm going to get this for you. I think God wants me to do that." It was so cool! I gave her a huge hug and said thank you. Now I'm going to share with her. Isn't she sweet?
After lunch, the clothing store, and Publix, there really wasn't much we could do around town. So we rode around a bit, stopped at Office Depot of all places, mostly just for the heck of it and the possibility of cute notebooks, (I'm addicted to them, you know,) and then drove back home. We were planning on going inside and sitting and talking some more, but for some strange reason we just sat in the car and talked. And it was a really good conversation too. See, we talk so much, that it doesn't really matter where we are, just so long as our mouths are working. =D
Kath and I were trying to decide what to give Meg when we both went to look through our scarf drawers. (Yes, we actually have drawers for our scarves. =) Kath found a cute flowered green one that you can wear in your hair and I found a crocheted sparkly brown scarf with beads on the end. We also gave her a Starbucks gift card. It was so funny because she said when she opened the gift that she had been wanting a new scarf, and one for her hair! It was great. She's definitely a scarf lover. =D
We had a great time being together and it made for a wonderful afternoon! I'm so thankful for such amazing friends!
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